Toward the end of 2010 I was sure that January 2011 was going to be the release date for the FathersInTouch website. But after a major decision to return back to full time employment and also knowing the site was not where I wanted it to be in the realms of services being offered, I knew there had to be a plan to keep things moving.
I placed an ad on some websites to find a few great coders. The response was overwhelming and I joined forces with a small company that can do almost anything it seems which really helped free my time. The outcome for me is that now I am able to sit back and think to myself "WHAT is it fathers and their children would benefit from on the site?" I am no longer held back by my own personal coding abilities in web design.
In total now I have 4 designers and 3 coders (they even develop software, so you might see an iPhone app in time to come.)
The second portion of this puzzle is that I am taking time to get my health under control. I have type 2 diabetes, high cholestorol and high blood pressure from my inactivity for the last few years, so decided to step it up.
May 1st 2011 the 5 borough bike ride in New York is taking place, so I have purchased a stationary bike and am training to enter the almost 50 mile bike ride. I have decided to choose a charity to help children in some way and ride on behalf of Fathers in Touch (F.I.T.) to raise money for the children.
I will probably place a page on the site so other fathers can join, get the t- shirt and also ride for kids, I need to look into it how to set it up legally etc.
So for now and as the site continues to grow in services and information, please hang in there till we release the site in all its glory maybe May 1st 2011.
Meanwhile if you feel you have any positive input you could offer, please feel free to write me.
Andrew
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sock in Hand - Poem written for my daughter some years back.
I carry your sock around with me,
It's silly... but it's true,
The one thing that helps remind me,
Just how much that I love you.
Emma, how did you become so loving,
How did you learn to care,
To tell me all I need to know,
When you are miles away from here.
"What room are you in Daddy?"
Sometimes on the phone you say.
Six very simple words,
That take my blues away.
Never doubt daddy's love for you,
And always know I care,
Know that I'm only a call away,
For me to drive all the way there.
If ever you would need me,
If ever your feeling sad,
If ever you just want the time
To sit and chat to dad.
Pick up the phone and call me,
You know just where I am,
I'll be here by the phone,
Standing with sock in hand.
Dad xo
It's silly... but it's true,
The one thing that helps remind me,
Just how much that I love you.
Emma, how did you become so loving,
How did you learn to care,
To tell me all I need to know,
When you are miles away from here.
"What room are you in Daddy?"
Sometimes on the phone you say.
Six very simple words,
That take my blues away.
Never doubt daddy's love for you,
And always know I care,
Know that I'm only a call away,
For me to drive all the way there.
If ever you would need me,
If ever your feeling sad,
If ever you just want the time
To sit and chat to dad.
Pick up the phone and call me,
You know just where I am,
I'll be here by the phone,
Standing with sock in hand.
Dad xo
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Intro Part 2 to Fathers in Touch (F.I.T)
It's hard to imagine that in 1992 I sold everything I owned to move to the USA. I said goodbye to my family, I remember them being upset with me because I was on another crazy journey doing something stupid. Looking back is all a blur, but jump ahead 18 years and 2 divorces later, I find myself at the mercy of child support. It feels as though no matter just how much I earn, the more the sharks circle, I have felt it is hard to move ahead in a wildly successful manner due to this. I sometimes wonder if I hide behind it as an excuse, but when I look at all the things I have tried to do in my time here, it's almost like life has the last laugh. But even as it type those words, something inside tells me not to give that any validity as the negativity only compounds the beliefs.
Who's to blame, who did what and beyond has been written, recored and is subjective at best, so for me to point fingers is pointless and self serving at best.
"That which does not break me..." How many times have I told myself this?
To grow older apart from my children was not anything in my life's game plan. It was not how I grew up, not how I had thought life would "pan out" so to speak.
My daughter turns 10 this week! she lives 400 miles away from me, I died inside the day she moved out of town. She now lives in PA with her mom, so her mom can be close to her family.
Finding myself here and now is an eye opener, some years back I thought this all must be a part of some much larger plan, that there must be a reason to all of this, then over time I found no there wasn't, then eventually, yes there was. hehe I now have a site being developed just for single dads that do not live with their kids. Something is coming out of all of this! Something pretty darn cool!
I wish we could offer a free service for everyone, allow every dad the services we are developing at NJ Mac Magic for Fathers in Touch. NJMacMagic is a Macintosh tech company that is slowly evolving over time to be whatever it needs to be in realms of Mac and Web Solutions. NJMacMagic is a company, but I see FathersinTouch.com turning into a passion as it has meaningful involvement and interaction with the fathers out there that if not helped, might inadvertently forget to feed a young child's heart and mind the way they should.
While picking up my daughter, it hit me I had not (again) sent her a card I had promised. It really hit me that enough was enough. An hour later during a 200 mile drive home, I conjured the site up from all the thoughts I had had over the years and FathersInTouch.com was borne.
It is hard to be descriptive presently about its services as the concept could easily be stolen. I am in the middle of having items printed, created, stuff coded and concepts pushed further by some of my finest helpers! (the children of divorce themselves) Their replies to some of my hardest questions have been eye opening. But then to find ways to create a method for these things to actually happen has been the second part of the puzzle. I love to invent machines, so it has been a fun project, creating methods of doing what needs to be done.
As I watch TV or travel and see so many children and the way young boys treat girls and mothers in general has left me sad for the future of mankind. I was raised to say please and thank you and pardon me and open doors and walk on the outside when with a girl. Almost everywhere I see it's each person for themselves, there seems to be no more courtship, no more chivalrous actions and swearing is now almost common place which is maddening to me. This is only my opinion, but how do you want your daughters spoken to? treated? loved? Who's teaching the adults of tomorrow with our without a father or well rounded family support system.
Why can't there be a code of conduct between adults to raise our own children and also oversee the kids of society too as they mouth of obscenities or are disruptive in public. With all the policing of laws, why can't swearing and harsher conduct laws be put into place? Kids need to learn, they need role models and we need to step up to the plate in being the best role model we can be. I have fallen short in my time as a dad, no excuses really, sometimes I see kids use it as an excuse to not do something a certain way or not do things at all.
The outcome of this site is to create a range of services for single fathers to enable their job as a dad that cares and help raise their kids with love and is felt fully by their children, the future parents of tomorrow. With the use of todays technology so much can be offered to help a single dad. Having lived the life for so many years and still fresh in the trenches paying child support and helping to raise a 10 year old girl and 17 year old boy, I feel uniquely qualified to help and guide and offer a support system to help change lives or make lives easier.
This site is not for mothers, although it might be of service. I feel I need to concentrate on what I have experience with. I can only speak of the USA, but the laws are bias in the mother's favor, and while there are also dads that deserve to have their children taken away from them, so many more of us are loyal, loving, caring dads. A bitter ex-wife, is simply that, not a determiner of your fathering abilities. I don't care what you say, all I could afford for years was pasta and pasta sauce for my own mouth, while the 'law' took its portion from my pay check each week. I use to cycle 20 miles to and from work each day and worked long hours. If I call child support about a query or administrative issue with my cases, I am treated over the phone as a criminal, truly I feel as though I am being spoken down to and trodden on, why?
Again, this site is not for the Moms out there, it is based on what a good dad experiences, we shall talk of moms and mothering roles, but none of this is fodder for mixing words with any mothers in general. No disrespect to any moms reading, we love you of course, but dad needs help (I hear you saying, and you think I don't need help?) hehe again, this is not the place, being a mother, you have so many resources out there already.
This site is not about who did what, who is right or wrong, it's for helping men helping kids and guiding them to be awesome adults or at least to be more balanced in their growth.
Who's to blame, who did what and beyond has been written, recored and is subjective at best, so for me to point fingers is pointless and self serving at best.
"That which does not break me..." How many times have I told myself this?
To grow older apart from my children was not anything in my life's game plan. It was not how I grew up, not how I had thought life would "pan out" so to speak.
My daughter turns 10 this week! she lives 400 miles away from me, I died inside the day she moved out of town. She now lives in PA with her mom, so her mom can be close to her family.
Finding myself here and now is an eye opener, some years back I thought this all must be a part of some much larger plan, that there must be a reason to all of this, then over time I found no there wasn't, then eventually, yes there was. hehe I now have a site being developed just for single dads that do not live with their kids. Something is coming out of all of this! Something pretty darn cool!
I wish we could offer a free service for everyone, allow every dad the services we are developing at NJ Mac Magic for Fathers in Touch. NJMacMagic is a Macintosh tech company that is slowly evolving over time to be whatever it needs to be in realms of Mac and Web Solutions. NJMacMagic is a company, but I see FathersinTouch.com turning into a passion as it has meaningful involvement and interaction with the fathers out there that if not helped, might inadvertently forget to feed a young child's heart and mind the way they should.
While picking up my daughter, it hit me I had not (again) sent her a card I had promised. It really hit me that enough was enough. An hour later during a 200 mile drive home, I conjured the site up from all the thoughts I had had over the years and FathersInTouch.com was borne.
It is hard to be descriptive presently about its services as the concept could easily be stolen. I am in the middle of having items printed, created, stuff coded and concepts pushed further by some of my finest helpers! (the children of divorce themselves) Their replies to some of my hardest questions have been eye opening. But then to find ways to create a method for these things to actually happen has been the second part of the puzzle. I love to invent machines, so it has been a fun project, creating methods of doing what needs to be done.
As I watch TV or travel and see so many children and the way young boys treat girls and mothers in general has left me sad for the future of mankind. I was raised to say please and thank you and pardon me and open doors and walk on the outside when with a girl. Almost everywhere I see it's each person for themselves, there seems to be no more courtship, no more chivalrous actions and swearing is now almost common place which is maddening to me. This is only my opinion, but how do you want your daughters spoken to? treated? loved? Who's teaching the adults of tomorrow with our without a father or well rounded family support system.
Why can't there be a code of conduct between adults to raise our own children and also oversee the kids of society too as they mouth of obscenities or are disruptive in public. With all the policing of laws, why can't swearing and harsher conduct laws be put into place? Kids need to learn, they need role models and we need to step up to the plate in being the best role model we can be. I have fallen short in my time as a dad, no excuses really, sometimes I see kids use it as an excuse to not do something a certain way or not do things at all.
The outcome of this site is to create a range of services for single fathers to enable their job as a dad that cares and help raise their kids with love and is felt fully by their children, the future parents of tomorrow. With the use of todays technology so much can be offered to help a single dad. Having lived the life for so many years and still fresh in the trenches paying child support and helping to raise a 10 year old girl and 17 year old boy, I feel uniquely qualified to help and guide and offer a support system to help change lives or make lives easier.
This site is not for mothers, although it might be of service. I feel I need to concentrate on what I have experience with. I can only speak of the USA, but the laws are bias in the mother's favor, and while there are also dads that deserve to have their children taken away from them, so many more of us are loyal, loving, caring dads. A bitter ex-wife, is simply that, not a determiner of your fathering abilities. I don't care what you say, all I could afford for years was pasta and pasta sauce for my own mouth, while the 'law' took its portion from my pay check each week. I use to cycle 20 miles to and from work each day and worked long hours. If I call child support about a query or administrative issue with my cases, I am treated over the phone as a criminal, truly I feel as though I am being spoken down to and trodden on, why?
Again, this site is not for the Moms out there, it is based on what a good dad experiences, we shall talk of moms and mothering roles, but none of this is fodder for mixing words with any mothers in general. No disrespect to any moms reading, we love you of course, but dad needs help (I hear you saying, and you think I don't need help?) hehe again, this is not the place, being a mother, you have so many resources out there already.
This site is not about who did what, who is right or wrong, it's for helping men helping kids and guiding them to be awesome adults or at least to be more balanced in their growth.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Welcome to Fathers in Touch
Are you a single father, maybe you're a dad too busy working, are you going through divorce? Are you always on the road and need help staying in touch with your children the way they deserve?
Just because you are too busy, too forgetful with too much going on, does not mean your kids need to pay the price for you not being there.
I am a father of 17 years living in New Jersey, USA, I have made these very same mistakes. While picking up my daughter some months back I realized yet again I had forgot to mail a card I promised her and I thought to myself "enough was enough!" I needed to step up and do those little things as well as the everyday things it takes to be a dad. I created fathers in touch, an idea I have had for many years born out of my own experiences, a resource for dads and fathers to be the best that they can be.
I cannot think that my life's lessons were all in vain, I'm hoping that some of my losses can be your gain in not making some of the larger mistakes I have made during this time. I am offering to you the single dad what I was not offered, what was not available for me when starting this journey. An affordable yet priceless service to help you on your way, tools to help you be a better father, to enable your kids to one day look back and know that you were most certainly there for them with overflowing love.
I can't help you throw a ball with your children, take them to movies, fly a kite or sit down with them to teach them about the birds and the bees, but I can offer you tools and services to make the process of handling a divorce or living away from your kids easier, about taking out some of the guess work, and getting you reminders at the right time, making sure you follow through on promises to your children (they don't forget and will remember for years if you forget to follow through on your promises, trust me) I wish I had these services or someone there to guide me all those years ago.
If life isn't about learning from your mistakes, about adjusting your course as you encounter life's storms, about growing as an individual and handing down the lessons to guide those pieces of your heart that walk outside of you, then what it is about?
I am not here to say this way or that way is THE way, I am simply saying here are some great tools to help your children grow, knowing they are loved and cherished by their dads. A chance for you to leave a lasting mark on them, to help them grow as balanced as we could ever hope.
I remember all the lessons my own father taught me, both good and bad. I cannot imagine the man that I may be today without his guidance, about knowing how much he loves me and that no matter what, he is there always in the background, just a thought and for now thankfully a phone call away. To this day I am by no means perfect, but I still grow and ever evolve because of my strong sense of who I am due to the words and maybe more importantly the actions handed down to me from my father. It didn't mean my dad had to be perfect, it meant he showed me both good and bad, but also the wisdom to know there difference between the two, he showed me how to be my own man, to make my own choices.
So to all you single dads out there starting your journey or the veteran single father, or anyone going through divorce or who have children out there in the world, I am here to offer assistance in making sure that your kids don't pay the price of a forgetful mind or a life that's too busy.
Just because you are too busy, too forgetful with too much going on, does not mean your kids need to pay the price for you not being there.
I am a father of 17 years living in New Jersey, USA, I have made these very same mistakes. While picking up my daughter some months back I realized yet again I had forgot to mail a card I promised her and I thought to myself "enough was enough!" I needed to step up and do those little things as well as the everyday things it takes to be a dad. I created fathers in touch, an idea I have had for many years born out of my own experiences, a resource for dads and fathers to be the best that they can be.
I cannot think that my life's lessons were all in vain, I'm hoping that some of my losses can be your gain in not making some of the larger mistakes I have made during this time. I am offering to you the single dad what I was not offered, what was not available for me when starting this journey. An affordable yet priceless service to help you on your way, tools to help you be a better father, to enable your kids to one day look back and know that you were most certainly there for them with overflowing love.
I can't help you throw a ball with your children, take them to movies, fly a kite or sit down with them to teach them about the birds and the bees, but I can offer you tools and services to make the process of handling a divorce or living away from your kids easier, about taking out some of the guess work, and getting you reminders at the right time, making sure you follow through on promises to your children (they don't forget and will remember for years if you forget to follow through on your promises, trust me) I wish I had these services or someone there to guide me all those years ago.
If life isn't about learning from your mistakes, about adjusting your course as you encounter life's storms, about growing as an individual and handing down the lessons to guide those pieces of your heart that walk outside of you, then what it is about?
I am not here to say this way or that way is THE way, I am simply saying here are some great tools to help your children grow, knowing they are loved and cherished by their dads. A chance for you to leave a lasting mark on them, to help them grow as balanced as we could ever hope.
I remember all the lessons my own father taught me, both good and bad. I cannot imagine the man that I may be today without his guidance, about knowing how much he loves me and that no matter what, he is there always in the background, just a thought and for now thankfully a phone call away. To this day I am by no means perfect, but I still grow and ever evolve because of my strong sense of who I am due to the words and maybe more importantly the actions handed down to me from my father. It didn't mean my dad had to be perfect, it meant he showed me both good and bad, but also the wisdom to know there difference between the two, he showed me how to be my own man, to make my own choices.
So to all you single dads out there starting your journey or the veteran single father, or anyone going through divorce or who have children out there in the world, I am here to offer assistance in making sure that your kids don't pay the price of a forgetful mind or a life that's too busy.
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